I'm not sure if I will blog about this every day of the challenge, but I kind of want to capture this journey.
Day one of The Whole 30 done! I'm combining it with some additional supplements and a Facebook break, too. This 30 day (I may go longer) challenge is exactly what I needed to break my current food habits and build some new ones to start eating more real, whole, healthy foods. It's my crunchy boot camp to get me eating the way I know I should be but haven't taken the time to put into practice yet. I'm also trying to break some unhealthy time-management habits-- too much Facebook!
I've been preparing the last week or so. I have a plan for meals and I did my grocery shopping yesterday based on that plan. I know what I'm going to make for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. (Sooo hoping that this habit carries over once the challenge is done! It's so helpful!) That made day one pretty easy meal-wise. I had some snack cravings after lunch, but otherwise, I've been feeling full and feeling good.
I also made two "food discoveries" thanks to the Whole 30 stretching me to look for approved meal options.
First, on my salads, I tried a mixture of mostly white wine vinegar and a little red wine vinegar, as well as olive oil. It tasted just like the vinegar at Subway! (Found the "recipe" earlier this week through a google search, here.) I was pretty pumped that it was legit! It really does taste just like Subway!
I also had spaghetti squash for the first time today-- easy "noodles!" So fun! Glad I had learned of these through my mama group on Facebook. It was about time I finally tried it! I'll have to see if I can find a Whole 30 approved marinara sauce and try that out on it.
The hardest part, honestly, was staying off Facebook today! I was not expecting that. I was surprised by the urge to constantly check for notifications, on my phone or on the computer. The addiction is strong, people! And also realizing how much time I had been spending that I was able to spend with my boys, preparing my whole food meals, or other things today. I love all my Facebook friends and the groups I participate in on there, but I also spent too much time browsing and then getting sucked into random links and videos. Breaking that habit now! When I go back I hope to have some healthy boundaries set so that my time spent on Facebook will be about connecting and not just wasting time. That's the goal anyway!
So that is day one! Blessings!
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Friday, September 26, 2014
Choices: Minimalism
So sometime back in 2013, I found the Hands Free Mama blog. She emphasized being intentional about putting down your devices, living 'hands free,' slowing down, looking into your children's eyes, and enjoying the moments. To grasp what really matters. She tells beautiful stories about restoring connection with her daughters and repairing those relationships after she had lived distracted for so long. I cried every time I read one of her posts for the first few months. Her posts resonated so much with my heart for how I want to live my life.
At the end of August 2013, I wrote in my prayer notebook how I felt God was calling me to simplify, to slow down, be still, create margin, and seek peace.
And right around then, a book called Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions for Frenzied Families was available as a free download. It echoed my heart in so many ways as it talked about simplifying your schedule (among other things) and learning to prioritize what is most important for your family.
And then, someone in my Facebook feed happened to share this blog post, Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids from the becoming minimalist blog. It was perfect timing! Because that blog was FULL of practical suggestions for simplifying your life and de-cluttering your home. And the heart of the blog was so in line with my heart on why I wanted to do this--emphasizing benefits like having time for what matters most, less stress, less debt, more freedom, and more time for investing my heart into meaningful things.
See, this is how God speaks to me! He plants it in my heart and it grows until I'm like, woah, God, I really want to do such & such. And then, all of a sudden I'm inundated with resources or confirmations or whatever. Ask and you shall receive, right? Beautiful. Awesome.
And even better timing, I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with my second son and nesting hit me hardcore for the entire month of October! I cleared out my house from top to bottom and donated carloads and carloads of things that we just didn't use and didn't need. It felt so freeing!
One of the first places I started was the kitchen. I donated all the things we weren't using (which was a lot, because I'm a pretty simplistic cook and very rarely bake anything) and moved things off of the counter. (Because now I had room in the cabinets!) It made such a difference having all that clear counterspace! It looked so much nicer and felt more inviting and made the neat freak in my head very happy.
And from there I was hooked! It's seriously addictive. I couldn't wait to get to the rest of the house!
One of the other big things I tackled was clearing out Will's toys. Can I tell you how much easier it has been to keep our house clean since I simplified his toy bin and got rid of all the toys with tiny pieces that would end up everywhere?! And with a newborn arriving soon after, it could not have been more needed!
Since then, this mindset of minimalism has helped me to live more simply. I'm more intentional about the things I buy or bring into our home or what we might add to our schedules. I'm happy finding ways to live with less which also enables us to be more generous. I'm a big fan of ministries like Compassion International and World Vision, so this is a big bonus for me.
I can spend less time cleaning and organizing because I've cleared out so much, which means I have more time for my boys and my passions. Another really huge benefit is finding contentment with less, too. It does wonders for your heart!
This is my testimony: I've chosen the intentional simplicity of minimalism over our culture's typical excessive consumerism and cultivated greater peace within my heart and my surroundings. I totally recommend it! :)
At the end of August 2013, I wrote in my prayer notebook how I felt God was calling me to simplify, to slow down, be still, create margin, and seek peace.
And right around then, a book called Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions for Frenzied Families was available as a free download. It echoed my heart in so many ways as it talked about simplifying your schedule (among other things) and learning to prioritize what is most important for your family.
And then, someone in my Facebook feed happened to share this blog post, Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids from the becoming minimalist blog. It was perfect timing! Because that blog was FULL of practical suggestions for simplifying your life and de-cluttering your home. And the heart of the blog was so in line with my heart on why I wanted to do this--emphasizing benefits like having time for what matters most, less stress, less debt, more freedom, and more time for investing my heart into meaningful things.
See, this is how God speaks to me! He plants it in my heart and it grows until I'm like, woah, God, I really want to do such & such. And then, all of a sudden I'm inundated with resources or confirmations or whatever. Ask and you shall receive, right? Beautiful. Awesome.
And even better timing, I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with my second son and nesting hit me hardcore for the entire month of October! I cleared out my house from top to bottom and donated carloads and carloads of things that we just didn't use and didn't need. It felt so freeing!
One of the first places I started was the kitchen. I donated all the things we weren't using (which was a lot, because I'm a pretty simplistic cook and very rarely bake anything) and moved things off of the counter. (Because now I had room in the cabinets!) It made such a difference having all that clear counterspace! It looked so much nicer and felt more inviting and made the neat freak in my head very happy.
And from there I was hooked! It's seriously addictive. I couldn't wait to get to the rest of the house!
One of the other big things I tackled was clearing out Will's toys. Can I tell you how much easier it has been to keep our house clean since I simplified his toy bin and got rid of all the toys with tiny pieces that would end up everywhere?! And with a newborn arriving soon after, it could not have been more needed!
Since then, this mindset of minimalism has helped me to live more simply. I'm more intentional about the things I buy or bring into our home or what we might add to our schedules. I'm happy finding ways to live with less which also enables us to be more generous. I'm a big fan of ministries like Compassion International and World Vision, so this is a big bonus for me.
I can spend less time cleaning and organizing because I've cleared out so much, which means I have more time for my boys and my passions. Another really huge benefit is finding contentment with less, too. It does wonders for your heart!
This is my testimony: I've chosen the intentional simplicity of minimalism over our culture's typical excessive consumerism and cultivated greater peace within my heart and my surroundings. I totally recommend it! :)
Friday, September 19, 2014
Choices: Homebirth
This is my story of why I wanted a homebirth. This is what I wanted. This worked for me and my family. I encourage you to do your research, be informed, and do what is best for you and yours. :)
With my first, I would have liked a homebirth, too, but financially it didn't work out. I ended up with a good hospital birth in many ways, but there was one aspect of it that made me determined to birth at home next time.
My care providers and I had very different visions of what birth should look like. My vision was unrestricted, free, instinctive, and natural. Theirs was controlled, restricted, timed, and managed.
Because of my preferences and medical decisions that deviated from the typical routine in most hospital settings in the US today, the on call doctor argued with me throughout my labor. She repeatedly pressed me to change my mind, attempting to bully me into accepting various interventions. She even argued with me through contractions. I said, "My answer is no. I've researched it. I know the statistics, risks, and benefits. No, thank you." Still she argued.
It made me angry. I was birthing a child. I should not have had to argue and defend myself against her medical preferences, and especially not during the middle of a contraction when I'm 6+ centimeters dilated!
I knew I needed a provider with a similar mindset next time. I wanted a provider that believed in the power of a woman to birth her baby without intervention, that believed in me, and in the natural process. I wanted someone I could trust with the safety of me and my baby and also with the sacredness of my birth. Someone that would be supportive and respectful while supervising my birth. I felt a homebirth midwife was my best chance.
Because birth is something I do, not something that is done to me.
When I researched homebirth, I learned that with a competent provider, homebirth was just as safe as a hospital birth in a "low-risk" pregnancy. Transfers are very rarely needed and most of them are not emergencies.
The first midwife I approached wasn't able to work with me because she didn't have an available assistant around my due date. I eventually ended up working with the new Morning Star Birth Center in Duluth. I met with a few different midwives while the birth center got started up and Savita Jones ended up being my midwife at my birth, along with Paula Bernini Feigal and an assistant. I highly recommend Morning Star! They were all wonderful!
During my pregnancy, I had hour long appointments with my midwife, with plenty of time to check on me and baby, discuss nutrition and how I was feeling physically and emotionally, and address any questions or concerns. I was also able to meet everyone that would attend my birth at my appointments as well. During labor, my care team monitored me and baby in an unobtrusive and non-disruptive way. They presented the options for my care and respected my choices and preferences.
My homebirth was beautiful and I cherish the memory. Everyone present was supportive, encouraging, wonderful and respectful. There was an atmosphere of love, joy, and peace as I brought this new life into the world, my second son. Unrushed, free, gentle, and safe.
Homebirth may not be the choice for everyone, but it was the right choice for us. In the hospital, I had to fight for what I knew was best for me and my son. At home, I birthed safely and peacefully, unafraid and wonderfully supported.
With my first, I would have liked a homebirth, too, but financially it didn't work out. I ended up with a good hospital birth in many ways, but there was one aspect of it that made me determined to birth at home next time.
My care providers and I had very different visions of what birth should look like. My vision was unrestricted, free, instinctive, and natural. Theirs was controlled, restricted, timed, and managed.
Because of my preferences and medical decisions that deviated from the typical routine in most hospital settings in the US today, the on call doctor argued with me throughout my labor. She repeatedly pressed me to change my mind, attempting to bully me into accepting various interventions. She even argued with me through contractions. I said, "My answer is no. I've researched it. I know the statistics, risks, and benefits. No, thank you." Still she argued.
It made me angry. I was birthing a child. I should not have had to argue and defend myself against her medical preferences, and especially not during the middle of a contraction when I'm 6+ centimeters dilated!
I knew I needed a provider with a similar mindset next time. I wanted a provider that believed in the power of a woman to birth her baby without intervention, that believed in me, and in the natural process. I wanted someone I could trust with the safety of me and my baby and also with the sacredness of my birth. Someone that would be supportive and respectful while supervising my birth. I felt a homebirth midwife was my best chance.
Because birth is something I do, not something that is done to me.
When I researched homebirth, I learned that with a competent provider, homebirth was just as safe as a hospital birth in a "low-risk" pregnancy. Transfers are very rarely needed and most of them are not emergencies.
The first midwife I approached wasn't able to work with me because she didn't have an available assistant around my due date. I eventually ended up working with the new Morning Star Birth Center in Duluth. I met with a few different midwives while the birth center got started up and Savita Jones ended up being my midwife at my birth, along with Paula Bernini Feigal and an assistant. I highly recommend Morning Star! They were all wonderful!
During my pregnancy, I had hour long appointments with my midwife, with plenty of time to check on me and baby, discuss nutrition and how I was feeling physically and emotionally, and address any questions or concerns. I was also able to meet everyone that would attend my birth at my appointments as well. During labor, my care team monitored me and baby in an unobtrusive and non-disruptive way. They presented the options for my care and respected my choices and preferences.
My homebirth was beautiful and I cherish the memory. Everyone present was supportive, encouraging, wonderful and respectful. There was an atmosphere of love, joy, and peace as I brought this new life into the world, my second son. Unrushed, free, gentle, and safe.
Homebirth may not be the choice for everyone, but it was the right choice for us. In the hospital, I had to fight for what I knew was best for me and my son. At home, I birthed safely and peacefully, unafraid and wonderfully supported.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Captive to the power of sin? No!
Yesterday, I walked with the boys to a nearby Lutheran church because N had our car but I wanted to go to a worship service somewhere. The structured service is not what I was used to, but I was following along as best I could in between occupying the wiggly baby in my arms and sternly whispering at W to please not climb on top of the pew.
I enjoyed the hymns and the message from Matthew about not worrying about tomorrow. It was nice to have fellowship.
But I couldn't join in this confession...
"We confess that we are captive to the power of sin that dwells within us. We put ourselves first and others last. What we think will make us happy leaves us longing for more. Even when we want to do what is good, we find ourselves doing the opposite. Rescue us from death's grip on our lives, and raise us up day by day, that we may be alive to God in Christ Jesus."
This is the confession of saints in Christ? Did Christ conquer sin and set us free or not?! It broke my heart to hear children of God declaring these things over themselves. This is the confession of an unbeliever, and maybe it is meant to be (I'm not familiar with the Lutheran church, so my apologies if I've misunderstood), but it was the entire congregation saying it. What a defeating and untrue proclamation for a child of God!
I got a little fired up about it. I also know this isn't the only place where believers are making defeating statements like this, and I knew I wanted to write about it. I want to give truth to combat the lies, because we are transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2) and the words we use to talk about ourselves are important.
"Count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus... For sin shall not be your master because you are not under law, but under grace... You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness." - Romans 6:11,14,18
If you are in Christ, you are not "just a sinner saved by grace." You were a sinner and you are no longer because you have been saved by grace!
In Christ, you are free from the power of sin. Sin no longer dwells in you. Christ lives in you! This should be your confession in Christ!
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." - Galatians 2:20
"To them (believers) God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." - Colossians 1:27
We used to put ourselves first and others last. What we used to think made us happy left us longing for more. NOT ANYMORE.
"For it is God who works in you to will and act according to HIS good purpose." - Philippians 2:13
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! ... God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17,21
Come on! This is some good news, people!
When we want to do what is good (because Christ within us is giving us that good desire), now we find ourselves doing it! "I can do all things through the One who empowers me within!" (Philippians 4:13)
And instead of asking, thank God, because He already has rescued us from death's grip!
"For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves." - Colossians 1:13
"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is in the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Corinthians 15:55-57
Have you experienced this freedom in your life? If you haven't, you can!
It doesn't matter who you are, where you've been, or what you've done. Turn away from sin and turn to Jesus as your Savior! Invite Him to live in you! Ask Him to empower you to live in righteousness. Ask Him to make you a new creation! He loves to answer those prayers and He will do it. He takes all the mess and He makes you new. He loves you so, so much and He wants you to know Him, too.
I enjoyed the hymns and the message from Matthew about not worrying about tomorrow. It was nice to have fellowship.
But I couldn't join in this confession...
"We confess that we are captive to the power of sin that dwells within us. We put ourselves first and others last. What we think will make us happy leaves us longing for more. Even when we want to do what is good, we find ourselves doing the opposite. Rescue us from death's grip on our lives, and raise us up day by day, that we may be alive to God in Christ Jesus."
This is the confession of saints in Christ? Did Christ conquer sin and set us free or not?! It broke my heart to hear children of God declaring these things over themselves. This is the confession of an unbeliever, and maybe it is meant to be (I'm not familiar with the Lutheran church, so my apologies if I've misunderstood), but it was the entire congregation saying it. What a defeating and untrue proclamation for a child of God!
I got a little fired up about it. I also know this isn't the only place where believers are making defeating statements like this, and I knew I wanted to write about it. I want to give truth to combat the lies, because we are transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2) and the words we use to talk about ourselves are important.
"Count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus... For sin shall not be your master because you are not under law, but under grace... You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness." - Romans 6:11,14,18
If you are in Christ, you are not "just a sinner saved by grace." You were a sinner and you are no longer because you have been saved by grace!
In Christ, you are free from the power of sin. Sin no longer dwells in you. Christ lives in you! This should be your confession in Christ!
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." - Galatians 2:20
"To them (believers) God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." - Colossians 1:27
We used to put ourselves first and others last. What we used to think made us happy left us longing for more. NOT ANYMORE.
"For it is God who works in you to will and act according to HIS good purpose." - Philippians 2:13
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! ... God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17,21
Come on! This is some good news, people!
When we want to do what is good (because Christ within us is giving us that good desire), now we find ourselves doing it! "I can do all things through the One who empowers me within!" (Philippians 4:13)
And instead of asking, thank God, because He already has rescued us from death's grip!
"For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves." - Colossians 1:13
"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is in the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Corinthians 15:55-57
Have you experienced this freedom in your life? If you haven't, you can!
It doesn't matter who you are, where you've been, or what you've done. Turn away from sin and turn to Jesus as your Savior! Invite Him to live in you! Ask Him to empower you to live in righteousness. Ask Him to make you a new creation! He loves to answer those prayers and He will do it. He takes all the mess and He makes you new. He loves you so, so much and He wants you to know Him, too.
Through the blood of Jesus, we are redeemed out of the hand of the devil and all our sins are forgiven (Ephesians 1:7, Psalm 107:2). The blood of Jesus cleanses us continually from all sin (1 John 1:7). Through the blood, we are justified, made righteous, just as if we'd never sinned (Romans 5:9). Through the blood of Jesus, we are sanctified, made holy, set apart to God (Hebrews 13:12). Our bodies are a temple for the Holy Spirit, redeemed, cleansed, and sanctified by the blood of Jesus (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Therefore, Satan has no place in us and no power over us, through the blood of Jesus. We renounce him, loose ourselves from him, and command him to leave in the name of Jesus. (adapted from the end of the message The Life Giver by Derek Prince)
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Choices: A Drug-free Natural Hospital Birth
When I first became pregnant, I had a big problem. You see, I despise needles and everything I knew about pregnancy and birth told me that I would be stuck full of them throughout this experience: blood tests, glucose screening, IVs, an epidural, etc.
At some point early on, I thought, Screw that! I'm tough. I'll go drug-free in labor. Women have been giving birth for a lot longer than those things have been around, right? God created and designed me to give birth and there was nothing in the bible about Eve needing an epidural!
And so with that, I laughingly told my family my crazy plan, adding that I needed to research some other pain management methods (probably envisioning in my head that stupid labor breathing always portrayed in movies). My nurse sister suggested considering homebirth. WHAT?! I didn't even know that was an option anymore. Women give birth at home?! Sweet!
And so began my research journey into everything "natural birth." I was so uninformed. I began reading books and more books and online articles and forums on things like gestational diabetes, epidurals, episiotomies, the Bradley Method, doulas, the typical cascade of interventions (aka snowball effect), and more. I read lots of birth stories, both good and bad, but mostly good to encourage myself that it was possible!
I prayed a lot as well. In the beginning of my pregnancy, one thing I prayed for was strength and courage for the "required" blood draws. I did one early in the pregnancy which was traumatizing! I totally cried and made the lab tech wait like 10 minutes before I gave him my arm. As the time for the next blood draw came, I was really distressed over having to do that again. Then a day or two before that doctor appointment, I was lamenting in prayer over the dreaded blood draw that I "had to do" for my baby and I felt like God asked me, why hadn't I asked Him whether I had to do it or not? I immediately felt like He had given me permission to skip it and I had so much peace! From that point on, I was a peace-filled, needle-declining rebel! God had my back and that was good enough for me!
The more I prayed and the more I learned, my passion for this topic grew. I became more confident in God's design and amazed by the wonder and beauty of it. I became very skeptical of routine interventions. Do we think God needs a little help here? Did He mess up a little with this whole birth thing? No! I grew confident in my ability to birth my baby without drugs and without intervention. I was created and designed to birth babies! And God was with us! (Though there are situations when medical intervention is needed and welcome, they are few.)
Did you know that in unmedicated birth, when the baby is crowning, the mama's body releases such a surge of hormones (such as oxytocin, the love hormone) that it rewires the mama's brain to prepare her to love and nurture her baby?! When pain medications are given, that hormone surge is stunted because it is released in response to the pain. Things like this just blow my mind! The more I read, the more things like this I learned about pregnancy, birth, and babies. I am in awe at the God-given ability of women to bring forth life and nurture it! We are so privileged to be life-bearers.
Now I received plenty of comments and heard a lot of horror stories during my pregnancy. Many smiled at my plans for a drug free birth and told me something like, "well, we'll see what happens when you go into labor." More than one assured me that I would reach a point where I would break down and demand drugs. Our culture teaches us to fear birth and it teaches us to distrust our bodies. I want to assure you that God knew what He was doing when He designed us, and you don't need to be afraid! (Perfect Love casts out fear! ~ 1 John 4:18 and the Truth sets you free! ~ John 8:32) Trust in the Creator's design! You can do this! And for those of you who want to quote the curse from Genesis at me about increased pain in childbirth -- JESUS BROKE THE CURSE ON THE CROSS. He died to free us from the curse, why do we insist on keeping it?! Just sayin'.
And you know one thing makes birth more painful? Fear. The more you tense up in fear, the greater the pain. Then pain medications cut off the hormone cycle of increasing levels of oxytocin which reduces our perception of the pain. And so we medicate and spiral into intervention on top of intervention, that leads to poor outcomes for mamas and babies. The US ranks 60th in the world for maternal mortality rate and 69th in the world for infant mortality rate. In fact, our numbers are trending upward instead of downward! Our routine interventions that have led to our ridiculous c-section rates (No, one in three babies do not need to be cut out of their mother!) are not doing us any favors.
When I started this learning journey, it was all about me and avoiding needles. The more I learned though, I found that it was no longer simply about avoiding those needles, and it was definitely never about some idealized experience, it was about the health and safety of both me and my child.
So, yes, my labor was painful in a sense, but it was more like hard work that required a lot of focus and concentration. It was never too much. I trusted my body and did what I needed to. I swayed my hips. I got on my hands and knees. I vocalized through my contractions. I rested in between. I focused on relaxing my body and working with my contractions instead of fighting them. I repeated thoughts like these in my head: "Jesus help me!" "Every contraction brings me closer to meeting him" and the lyrics to a song "I will lift my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I can't climb..." Every. single. contraction.
My spontaneous routine got me through each contraction. I was not afraid. I did not scream for drugs. I did not want them. When I reached transition, I felt like I was ready to be done, but I knew I could do it. And I did! It was tough, but I was tougher.
The doctor and nurses were concerned with Will's heart rate toward the end once I was pushing. I asked what I should do. Would some upright position be better? I wanted to change positions to help his heart rate and push him out faster. They told me to stay where I was, laying on my back at that moment, and instead cut me (an episiotomy) and used a vacuum to deliver Will.
I shake my head now. At another birth, I witnessed a similar situation, but with a midwife. The midwife asked the mama to move from her back to her hands and knees, baby's heart rate improved, and baby was born soon after, perfect. No episiotomy or vacuum needed. My instincts were right, but instead of allowing me to move into a better and more natural position for birth, they did it the routine medical way. Did you know they tell you not to lay on your back your entire pregnancy, because it cuts off blood flow to the baby? But during labor in a hospital, it's the default position. Does that seem illogical to you? Could that maybe have caused Will's distressed heart tones? Um, yeah.
I knew better, but in the moment I doubted myself and allowed the interventions. For awhile after, I justified it and felt they were probably necessary. No, they really weren't, but it was easier for the doctor and nurses to use man-made interventions rather than try natural methods. So I had some disappointment about that aspect but I still accomplished a drug-free hospital birth! It is possible!
Because of my passion for all things birth, and my love of mamas and their precious babies, I became a doula after the birth of my first son and I dream of being a midwife in God's timing. My heart and desire is for women to be educated about birth. I want them to know their strength and capability! I want women to know their options, follow their instincts, be empowered, and birth without fear. I want them to know that birth can be beautiful, gentle, joyful, and empowering! Birth is something you do, not something that is done to you. If you have any questions about birth, I'd love to help you educate yourself. Two great resources on natural birth are Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Birth Partner.
I am truly a praying mama, and I am especially passionate about praying for mamas and babies. Last summer while visiting Bethel Church in Redding, I received a promise over my life that I will see stillborn babies come back to life as a supernatural midwife, so I pray for mamas and babies expecting the miraculous! Our God is the God who heals ALL our diseases (Psalm 103:3) and brings the dead back to life (John 11, Romans 4:17)! I would be honored to pray for you and your baby, too, so please leave a comment or send me a message. God has great plans for the both of you, to give you a hope and a future! (Jeremiah 29:11)
God, awaken women to their strength and the beauty of Your design for birth! Release gentle, beautiful, and empowering births. Release healing of scars and trauma from less than ideal or traumatic births. May women know that it is okay to grieve what was stolen from them by unneeded interventions or care providers that didn't listen or just plain bad circumstances. May all women know that a beautiful, natural birth is possible for them, too, by God's grace! Release Your truth and love that will free us from all fear. Cover us with Your peace. AMEN!
At some point early on, I thought, Screw that! I'm tough. I'll go drug-free in labor. Women have been giving birth for a lot longer than those things have been around, right? God created and designed me to give birth and there was nothing in the bible about Eve needing an epidural!
And so with that, I laughingly told my family my crazy plan, adding that I needed to research some other pain management methods (probably envisioning in my head that stupid labor breathing always portrayed in movies). My nurse sister suggested considering homebirth. WHAT?! I didn't even know that was an option anymore. Women give birth at home?! Sweet!
And so began my research journey into everything "natural birth." I was so uninformed. I began reading books and more books and online articles and forums on things like gestational diabetes, epidurals, episiotomies, the Bradley Method, doulas, the typical cascade of interventions (aka snowball effect), and more. I read lots of birth stories, both good and bad, but mostly good to encourage myself that it was possible!
I prayed a lot as well. In the beginning of my pregnancy, one thing I prayed for was strength and courage for the "required" blood draws. I did one early in the pregnancy which was traumatizing! I totally cried and made the lab tech wait like 10 minutes before I gave him my arm. As the time for the next blood draw came, I was really distressed over having to do that again. Then a day or two before that doctor appointment, I was lamenting in prayer over the dreaded blood draw that I "had to do" for my baby and I felt like God asked me, why hadn't I asked Him whether I had to do it or not? I immediately felt like He had given me permission to skip it and I had so much peace! From that point on, I was a peace-filled, needle-declining rebel! God had my back and that was good enough for me!
The more I prayed and the more I learned, my passion for this topic grew. I became more confident in God's design and amazed by the wonder and beauty of it. I became very skeptical of routine interventions. Do we think God needs a little help here? Did He mess up a little with this whole birth thing? No! I grew confident in my ability to birth my baby without drugs and without intervention. I was created and designed to birth babies! And God was with us! (Though there are situations when medical intervention is needed and welcome, they are few.)
Did you know that in unmedicated birth, when the baby is crowning, the mama's body releases such a surge of hormones (such as oxytocin, the love hormone) that it rewires the mama's brain to prepare her to love and nurture her baby?! When pain medications are given, that hormone surge is stunted because it is released in response to the pain. Things like this just blow my mind! The more I read, the more things like this I learned about pregnancy, birth, and babies. I am in awe at the God-given ability of women to bring forth life and nurture it! We are so privileged to be life-bearers.
Now I received plenty of comments and heard a lot of horror stories during my pregnancy. Many smiled at my plans for a drug free birth and told me something like, "well, we'll see what happens when you go into labor." More than one assured me that I would reach a point where I would break down and demand drugs. Our culture teaches us to fear birth and it teaches us to distrust our bodies. I want to assure you that God knew what He was doing when He designed us, and you don't need to be afraid! (Perfect Love casts out fear! ~ 1 John 4:18 and the Truth sets you free! ~ John 8:32) Trust in the Creator's design! You can do this! And for those of you who want to quote the curse from Genesis at me about increased pain in childbirth -- JESUS BROKE THE CURSE ON THE CROSS. He died to free us from the curse, why do we insist on keeping it?! Just sayin'.
And you know one thing makes birth more painful? Fear. The more you tense up in fear, the greater the pain. Then pain medications cut off the hormone cycle of increasing levels of oxytocin which reduces our perception of the pain. And so we medicate and spiral into intervention on top of intervention, that leads to poor outcomes for mamas and babies. The US ranks 60th in the world for maternal mortality rate and 69th in the world for infant mortality rate. In fact, our numbers are trending upward instead of downward! Our routine interventions that have led to our ridiculous c-section rates (No, one in three babies do not need to be cut out of their mother!) are not doing us any favors.
When I started this learning journey, it was all about me and avoiding needles. The more I learned though, I found that it was no longer simply about avoiding those needles, and it was definitely never about some idealized experience, it was about the health and safety of both me and my child.
So, yes, my labor was painful in a sense, but it was more like hard work that required a lot of focus and concentration. It was never too much. I trusted my body and did what I needed to. I swayed my hips. I got on my hands and knees. I vocalized through my contractions. I rested in between. I focused on relaxing my body and working with my contractions instead of fighting them. I repeated thoughts like these in my head: "Jesus help me!" "Every contraction brings me closer to meeting him" and the lyrics to a song "I will lift my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I can't climb..." Every. single. contraction.
My spontaneous routine got me through each contraction. I was not afraid. I did not scream for drugs. I did not want them. When I reached transition, I felt like I was ready to be done, but I knew I could do it. And I did! It was tough, but I was tougher.
The doctor and nurses were concerned with Will's heart rate toward the end once I was pushing. I asked what I should do. Would some upright position be better? I wanted to change positions to help his heart rate and push him out faster. They told me to stay where I was, laying on my back at that moment, and instead cut me (an episiotomy) and used a vacuum to deliver Will.
I shake my head now. At another birth, I witnessed a similar situation, but with a midwife. The midwife asked the mama to move from her back to her hands and knees, baby's heart rate improved, and baby was born soon after, perfect. No episiotomy or vacuum needed. My instincts were right, but instead of allowing me to move into a better and more natural position for birth, they did it the routine medical way. Did you know they tell you not to lay on your back your entire pregnancy, because it cuts off blood flow to the baby? But during labor in a hospital, it's the default position. Does that seem illogical to you? Could that maybe have caused Will's distressed heart tones? Um, yeah.
I knew better, but in the moment I doubted myself and allowed the interventions. For awhile after, I justified it and felt they were probably necessary. No, they really weren't, but it was easier for the doctor and nurses to use man-made interventions rather than try natural methods. So I had some disappointment about that aspect but I still accomplished a drug-free hospital birth! It is possible!
Because of my passion for all things birth, and my love of mamas and their precious babies, I became a doula after the birth of my first son and I dream of being a midwife in God's timing. My heart and desire is for women to be educated about birth. I want them to know their strength and capability! I want women to know their options, follow their instincts, be empowered, and birth without fear. I want them to know that birth can be beautiful, gentle, joyful, and empowering! Birth is something you do, not something that is done to you. If you have any questions about birth, I'd love to help you educate yourself. Two great resources on natural birth are Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Birth Partner.
I am truly a praying mama, and I am especially passionate about praying for mamas and babies. Last summer while visiting Bethel Church in Redding, I received a promise over my life that I will see stillborn babies come back to life as a supernatural midwife, so I pray for mamas and babies expecting the miraculous! Our God is the God who heals ALL our diseases (Psalm 103:3) and brings the dead back to life (John 11, Romans 4:17)! I would be honored to pray for you and your baby, too, so please leave a comment or send me a message. God has great plans for the both of you, to give you a hope and a future! (Jeremiah 29:11)
God, awaken women to their strength and the beauty of Your design for birth! Release gentle, beautiful, and empowering births. Release healing of scars and trauma from less than ideal or traumatic births. May women know that it is okay to grieve what was stolen from them by unneeded interventions or care providers that didn't listen or just plain bad circumstances. May all women know that a beautiful, natural birth is possible for them, too, by God's grace! Release Your truth and love that will free us from all fear. Cover us with Your peace. AMEN!
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